The Mental Aspect

The Complex Mind

Remember that your child is a soul having an earth experience.  Mentally, your child's soul is an intelligent entity with a mind that developed over lifetimes and merges with the mind produced in this lifetime.  This creates an improved mind that belongs both to the soul and the human being. The mind is important to your child's well-being because it is the filter through which he experiences his world and creates, but it can be an unruly partner.  It can be overactive, sluggish, hyper-focused, inattentive, and/or too distractible, etc.  How a child responds to information from the material and spiritual worlds impacts his decision making, creativity and action in this life.  All information impacts the integration of the mind, body and soul as well as the emotions.

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Mental Aspect Video

Becoming a Mastermind

Your child benefits when he is a mastermind.  Merriam-Webster defines a mastermind as "a person who supplies the directing or creative intelligence for a project."  YES! Your child creates his life through his mind.  The integration of mind, body and soul is most supported when your child uses his mind for his highest good.  The mind creates constantly and it benefits your child if his creations are positive (optimism, joy, laughter, follow through, self control, etc.), rather than negative (worry, anxiety, impulsivity, fears, destruction, etc.).  Help your child become a mastermind by understanding and providing the tools and skills that allow your child's mind to respond effectively to promote well-being. Well-being is defined by Martin Seligman, the father of well-being research, as living a life that is filled with these components: positive emotions, engagement, meaning, relationships, and achievement. (Seligman, Martin E.P., Flourish, A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being,  Free Press, New York, 2011)   

How your child's mind processes and responses to its environment impacts his well-being .  In addition, it is his mind that controls his ability to create and attain what he desires through the

 "-tions".  These are:

  • imagination - to come up with the idea
  • conceptualization - to think about how to make it work
  • intention - commitment to completion
  • visualization - seeing the completed idea in his mind
  • aspiration - being inspired
  • affirmation - a statement that he has completed his idea
  • attention - devotion/devotes the time and energy
  • intuition - listening to self and/or spirit
  • information - has the necessary knowledge or knows where to find it
  • action - takes steps and works on his idea
  • concentration - has "stick-with-it-ness", not distracted, persistent 
  • sensation - awareness of thoughts and gut feelings in the present time, being in the "now", feedback
  • emotion - satisfaction, enjoyment, and the ability to handle frustration.
  • fruition - completion, creation

Help your child develop these "-tions" so he has the tools to be a mastermind and bring great success to himself.   The "-tions" are what support creation, staying present and achievement. They can be regulated through training of the mind.  This page provides ideas that support the development of the whole mind. 

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The Soul's Mind and the Child's Mind

The mind organizes the information it receives from several sources.  It creates, remembers, perceives and processes information from:


  • the soul's past
  • the spiritual/energetic world
  • this life experience


The soul that is your child had a mind before he was your child.  Sometimes this mind and its memories are available to your child's current human mind.  Here's a true story relayed to me by the mother.  

My four year old boy, sucking his thumb, was sitting in his carseat.  "Mommy, do you remember before I was born and I was calling you, but you couldn't hear me?"  It had taken her a long time to get pregnant.  "Mom, what happened to the other baby boy you had?"  She'd had an abortion ten years earlier that no one on this earth knew about.  You can imagine her shock at his question.    


Certainly the child was "living" in some manner before his birth here.  He was aware of life on earth and when born here he had memories of past events that he "observed" from someplace, and he brought that knowledge with him to earth.  This information is carried in the soul's mind and can be accessible to your children.  A child's brain waves spend most of their time in theta waves from birth through age 5 or 6 and then theta waves decline throughout childhood. (Jensen, Eric, Enriching the Brain, John Wiley and Sons, San Francisco, CA. 2006, p 92) Theta wave activity correlates with sleep, intuitive thought, spiritual experiences and is the state that many psychics use to receive their information.  Just remember that your child can perceive things that you can't anymore and if you deny his experience, he may feel confused.


Young children are in transition between soul life and human life and they remember things.  In the story above, the child perceived an event during a time in "heaven", Other children remember other lifetimes that they have had.  Research into this phenomenon is ongoing at the University of Virginia.  It's impressive. https://med.virginia.edu/perceptual-studies/research-area/children-who-report-memories-of-previous-lives/


This is a link to ABC's Primetime that documents one family's journey to explain their son's behavior and talk about who he is.  He remembers a past life.  It's very convincing.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EWwzFwUOxA&feature=related


Even if your child does not speak about a past life, it is likely that he has brought some attitudes and memories of it forward to this lifetime.  The carry-over expresses itself in dreams, nightmares, fears, loves, relationships and of course talents.


Children generally speak of previous lifetimes between the age of 2 and age 6.  So during these years be particularly aware of what your child says, especially when riding in the car.  For some reason, kids often say things like this when in the car.  Perhaps, the rhythmic motion lulls them into a relaxed state.  Older children may not verbalize a past life, but may still be impacted by it, perhaps subconsciously.  

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How Parents Can Help

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Acknowledge

Acknowledge what your child says about past lives.  It is to his benefit and the development of his intuition that you "ok" these types of experiences.  This develops his relationship with Spirit and with you.

Open-ended Questions

Ask open-ended questions like: "Tell me more about that?  Help me understand."

Support Safety

If your child feels unsafe, remember Maslow's theory and understand that until he feels safe, he will not be able to focus on learning and creativity. If necessary, teach him to build a protective bubble around himself.  Have him hold his hands about 5 inches apart and pulse them gently in and out several times without touching while he gradually increases the width of his hands.  Breathe in as the hands move apart and release the breath as the hands come toward each other. Have your child "imagine" a golden bubble between his hands. Have him raise his hands up and pull the bubble down over his body. If he is very young, you can do this for him.  Teach him to add an affirmation or do so for him. Perhaps "I am safe." Or "I am protected."

Explain

Explain to your child what is happening.  Say that his soul is a part of who he was before he was "name" and that his soul may have been on earth before he was "name".  Tell him that children like himself often remember this other time, but that now he is "name" and that he has a new life.  Answer any questions he might have and know that it is okay to say that you don't know the answer.  Let him know that as a person gets older, he often forgets his past soul life.  The child in the story above now has no recollection of his past life or even of his being able to remember it as a young child. Almost all adults have amnesia about their soul life.  If you want to know more about the impact of previous lives read books by Brian Weiss, MD, Michael Newton, Ph.D., and Carol Bowman who has written books about children's past lives.

Journal

Keep a journal of what is said by your child to see if any patterns emerge.  Otherwise, you will forget many of the surprising things your child says.  Also, you can share it with him when he is older and doesn't remember.  It's a precious history.

Spiritual and Energetic Information

Children feel, hear, sense and/or see information that is often difficult for adult minds to perceive. Remember past lives is one version, but some children receive information in the NOW.  This information helps a child make a decision and take action if he trusts it.


Here's another true story.  A five year old boy was in a bookstore with his mother.  He had to go to the bathroom and they started toward the back of the store where the bathrooms were located.  Suddenly, he told his mom that they had to leave "right now!"  She was confused but left with him.  That evening on the local news, they learned that a gunman had entered the store at about the time they left.  A child needs to trust himself and acknowledge his feelings.  It might just save his life or provide beneficial guidance.


Two big things that parents can do to teach their child to use his intuition:

  1. Listen to your child's feelings and encourage him to feel and to listen to himself.  "What do you feel like doing?  Describe your feeling to me?"  Accept "I just want to" as an answer and label the feeling for the child.  "Ah, your intuition is telling you to..."  This will encourage him to trust himself and also give a name to the feeling.  Eventually, he will say "My intuition tells me..."
  2. Model your use of your intuition for your child.  You may think you don't use your intuition, but most likely you have made many decisions based on your "gut".  That's an intuitive decision.  You are your child's most powerful teacher. If you verbalize your use of intuition, your child learns to use and trust his own.  By verbalizing, you are making the invisible action more visible to your child so he learns from you. The more you and your child use intuition, the more accurate your outcomes and the more you learn to trust yourself.  Check out The Intuitive Spark, Bring Intuition Home to Your Child, Your Family and You by Sonia Choquette.

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Life Experience

Choices, Decisions and Outcomes

Life is full of choices and experiences that teach your child.  It may seem obvious, but the most successful children make good decisions, therefore decision making skills are important.  Decision-making requires low impulsivity. There are medical reasons some children have difficulty with impulse control such as ADD, ADHD and brain dysfunction, but the vast majority of children learn to make thoughtful decisions.  As a child matures he receives negative feedback if he doesn't learn to reel in and respond within the bounds of his society.  So what helps your child sustain focus besides meeting Maslow's basic needs?  Two things stand out: Good decision making skills and exercise.


  1. Exercise is important because research "demonstrate(s) a casual effect of a physical program executive control, and provide support for physical activity for improving childhood cognition and brain health" according to Charles Hillman, University of Illinois and colleagues.  Exercise causes the brain to release dopamine and serotonin which effects mood and concentration.  (http://www.theatlanticcom/health/archive/2014/09/exercise-seems-to-be-beneficial-to-children/380844/)   John Ratey, Harvard University, explains this in his 2012 TED talk. Check it out at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBSVZdTQmDs.   It's a 10 minute video that discusses the relationship between exercise and the ability of the brain/mind to learn and focus.  I believe that exercise supports the integration of the mind, body and soul. Schools do not provide daily physical education classes.  Parents  support your child by encouraging physical exercise.  This could be great, quality time together.  
  2. Good decision making impacts your child's self-esteem and success because as he makes good decisions he gets positive feedback.  There are longterm consequences for poor decision-making and control.  "Childhood self-control predicts physical health, substance dependence personal finances, and criminal offending..." according to Terrie E. Moffitt in "A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth and public safety."  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3041102/   Empathy, the ability to care about and relate to another person, is also important in the decision-making process.   Please see the Emotional Aspect page to learn more about this. 

Read this section because...

Every human being learns from his life experience. Your child will have some experiences that are completely out of his control, but many will be the result of his decision making.  His decision making ability impacts the integration of mind, body and soul because he, like all of us, feels frustrated by poor decisions and happier with decisions that serve him well.   Help him learn to engage his mind and be present.

Methods of Decision Making

Let's look at four manners of decision making:

  1. Intuition
  2. Thinking
  3. Automatic response
  4. Doing nothing

Intuition and Spiritual/Energetic Information

This is making a decision based on information that comes to a person from his "sixth sense". Remember the story of the boy in the bookstore.  It could be from a body feeling, hearing a message, or suddenly just knowing the right thing to do.  It is a legitimate manner by which to make a decision.


Thinking

Thinking allows your child to process and comprehend information in order to formulate a response and/or to create.  The ability to recognize what kind of thinking needs to be done supports your child's ability to make a decision.  These are some important types of thinking : sequence, cause and effect, and compare and contrast. Recognizing the need for each type of decision making and using the correct one helps your child form logical, well thought out decisions .  Now, I don't recommend that you teach these skills directly to your child.  You aren't suppose to be his classroom teacher, but what I do suggest is that you model and label these types of thinking.  Thinking is usually an invisible process.  I'm asking you to help your child by making it visible.  If your child understands his own thinking processes, it helps him keep his mental aspect in balance with his physical and spiritual self.


Automatic response and doing nothing aren't really thinking skills, but rather  responses that have the same effect as making a decision and will be explored later.  


So let's  discuss these three types of thinking.

Sequence

This means the order in which things must be done or occur.  Sequence is useful in recipes, directions, retelling an event, creating and accomplishing most activities.  Verbalize your use of sequence.  "What do I have to do first?"   "What do I need to do to get ready for school?  First, I will...then I will...next I will...finally I will..."  "These are directions, that means that I must follow a sequence."  Do not be afraid to use the vocabulary.  Children can learn these words.  After all they know the names of dinosaurs!


Cause and Effect  

This is seeing the connection between a causal event and the effect of it.  This kind thinking answers why questions and builds responsibility.  For instance, when you can't do something because something hasn't been done.  "I need to _____ so that _____."  Cause and effect can also be helpful when a mistake has occurred.  For instance, when the dog eats the child's favorite shoes that were left out.  In this case, you look at the effect and trace back to what caused it.  "My dog ate my shoes because I left them out. That's cause and effect thinking."


Compare and Contrast

This is when two choices are being decided between.  "Here are the good and bad things about each choice."  Sometimes a decision requires the use of multiple types of thinking.  For instance, compare and contrast thinking often raises questions of cause and effect because the question becomes "if I do choice number 1, what will happen?"  Make your thinking visible to your child.


These types of thinking help with decision making and understanding complex situations, and they help comprehension in academic and social situations.  Now let's briefly look at automatic response and "doing nothing."


Automatic Response

This is beyond active thinking.  This occurs after a decision has been made in the past.  A response becomes automatic when a habit is formed from a past decision.  For instance, once your child is use to brushing his teeth before bed, he does not have to think about doing so.  There is no resistance.  Routines and systems encourage automatic responses.  This supports the integration of his mind, body and soul because your child doesn't engage his mind more than his body.  There is balance.  He just does it! Teach routines.  Remember: "I am calm, consistent and persistent."  If you hold the line through your child's resistance, then your child learns to respond automatically to some repeated requests.  This makes both of your lives so much easier.


Doing Nothing


This happens when a person has a time deadline and puts off the decision until it is too late to benefit from it.  If your child chooses not to decide about something, he has in fact made a default decision.  It could look like this:  The child decides not  to do his homework by putting it off until it was too late to do it.  This situation requires your child to use cause and effect thinking to understand the ramifications of "doing nothing" and understand the creation of unintended consequences.  Remember "time" is an important component of life on earth.  This type of thinking is more difficult to model, but not impossible.  For instance you could say, "I needed to go to the store yesterday to buy ____for breakfast.  Well, we won't eating that this morning.  Too bad I didn't follow through with my thought. 


Thinking to Action to the "-tions"


Your child will come up with many great ideas for creation during his lifetime, but has he got what it takes to develop those creations? Creations can be anything a person wants from friendship, to a career path, to a new bicycle, writing a book, an art piece, to school achievement.  Anything your child wants to create in his life finds fruition through the "-tions":  imagination, conceptualization, intention, visualization, aspiration, attention, intuition, information, action, concentration, sensation, emotion and fruition/creation/completion.  


Sometimes things just miraculously happen.  For the most part, a human being creates the action. Just making a decision is not enough.  There must be follow-through. Just think of all the goals you have made for yourself.  Did you receive the benefit of those good ideas, or did you not take any action to fulfill your intention? Do you believe you would be better off if you acted on your ideas? Probably, and this is why it is important to teach your child not only to come up with great ideas, but to act upon them to bring them to fruition.  Your child needs to learn that with an intention, created by a decision, he needs to take action.  Most importantly, he must persist in retaining his interest in his idea.  This takes stick-with-it-ness. Angela Duckworth, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, has shown that "grit" is the primary indicator of a child's success. Grit beats intelligence for success in life.  Angela Duckworth has a new book and several Youtube videos where you can learn more. Grit refers to the ability to persist, to stick with commitments, to not give up and to apply the "-tions".  Your child lives on earth and needs to be aware of his action, time and space.  Time is like a window that opens and closes to opportunity,  This is earth bound stuff, but it is critically important if your child is to be successful in his earthbound society.  

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What's A Parent To Do?

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Model Action

For instance, "I want cookies.  Therefore, I will bake this afternoon."  Then follow through. "I said I wanted cookies so I am baking."  This demonstrates sequential action as well as cause and effect.  It is being responsible for your intention. Children often expect others to do for them instead of being responsible but  parents need to show them what being responsible looks like.  Then be on the lookout for times when your child works on following through and praise those attempts.  It is important to praise effort as well as outcomes.  Remember specific praise increases the likelihood that the action will be repeated.

Address Your Child's Desires

When your child states that he wants something, ask "How are you going to make that happen?" This encourages him to be a mastermind.

Hold High Expectations

Research shows that expectations make a huge difference in your child's attention.  After a parent has met Maslow's physical needs, he supports his child's education, thinking or whatever by making it important. Parents who hold high, yet realistic, expectation for school success have more successful students. Encourage learning, but not the competitiveness of being "number one" in the class.  You have the power to make school important and to engage your child in learning.  This contributes to your child's commitment to the "-tions".  https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2012/09/18/161159263/teachers-expectations-can-influence-how-students-perform

Develop Curiosity

Curiosity drives questions which engage the mind.  This is important to promote the "-tions" and creative endeavors.  Curious people are learners and adapt better to situations that they find themselves in.  They are also our creative geniuses.  Help your child notice, observe and respond to the natural world by modeling your curiosity about it.  This could be as simple as watching a line of ants. "Why are they walking in a line? Where are they going?" To take this a step further you go inside and look it up in a book or the internet.  This demonstrates following through on an intention (wanting to know).  Observations are important and lead to making connections that can be a base for a creative idea. Questioning is a great skill for expanding the mind, but formulating questions is difficult for young children.  Under the age of 6, they learn best through watching you do this.


At about age 6, you could say after observing the ants, "What questions do you have about the ants?"  The trick is that you need to teach your child how to ask a question.  Questions generally begin with who, what, why, when, where or how.  Start with this vocabulary and help your child form questions.  One day he will just naturally do it.  Your modeling is the best teaching tool I know. Children usually start questioning with "why" so these questions may be easier for your child to formulate.  "Why are the ants surrounding the dead bug?"



Closing Thoughts

The integration of the mind with the body and soul contributes to your child's wellbeing because it supports his achievement, creativity, accomplishment, self esteem and allows for the '-tions" to become an active part of his life. 


So before you read on, answer this questions.  What did you learn that you will implement today to support your child's mental aspect? 

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